Two weeks ago on a monday night i saw death. I saw it 3 times in one night. It rolled across a woman's face in the ICU. Like grey clouds preceding a thunderstorm, her face went from bright to dark in minutes. We knew that she was gone and there was nothing we could do. Eventually the doctor called it. Her mistake? Helping her neighbor in the yard and a tree fell on her.
Later than night as i went into a code on the floor i saw a son watching his mother die. He was afraid, angry, and confused. You could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He just kept yelling "my mom is gone". In a shreaking panick he tried to reason why and who was responsible. But it's useless.
Around 1030 i went to see my girl Marlene. I love that girl. She is a movie buff on another level. Marlene told me that she was caughing up blood. It's so sadd. Sometimes you forget that your patients are in this place for a reason. Her demeanor said it all. Marlene is dying. She knows it. Unfortunately i know it too. It's hard sometimes to not get attatched to people. But i guess that's life. Or should i say death.
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