Motivation

It's kind of funny now that i have started writing i can't stop. However i'm split between my blog and my journal. So i think it is probably a good idea to focus on my blog for a while. Since my last entry things have still gotten better.
I can actually talk about my cousin and not get emotional. I vowed to never say that my life sux again. I came to realize i'm in controll. If it sux it's my fault. If there is something i don't like it's up to me to change or adapt to it. So that's what i'm all about now. I gotta put myself out there and SHINE. Ya know i used to have a great reputation around here and i forgot what that feels like. It feels GOOD. It feels good when people trust you to make wise decisions, and depend on you to take care of bidness. I feel like i'm back and ready for the challenge. It's on me to pass or fail. And the second is not an option. I can never go back to where i was at the beginning of this journey, which has just began. Also it's nice to have bro's who have your back. People who look out for ya and want the best for ya. They help give me the motivation to keep going and give it my all. Real brothers and sisters and real friends.

Also i have adapted this rediculous work out plan. I think that helps me in all aspects. I think it may be a little bit overboard. But i'm past the time of doing thigs a little bit. It's all out or nothing at all. So i've dropped 20 since NYC. People are starting to notice which i must admit is kind of nice. However the crazy thing is i am so excited and i am not even close to my personal goal. However by this time next year i will be a BEAST!!!

Everthing is not on the up and up however..........