It starts

well it's been a long time since i have blogged. I must admit that i enjoy it. I have started my own blog for the first time. I used to write all of the time but i stopped for some unknown reason. I think this blog will be a good thing for me. Especially considering where i am in my life right now. My life is horrible right now. I hate it. I don't know what i've become, but somehow i have lost my way on the path of life. I don't have a game plan or a direction. It's really kind of sadd in retrospect. When i returned to this place in 04 i had that hunger inside of me. It was a desire to exceed expectations and live up to potential. Potential. That word has haunted me for my whole life. Eventually people stop using the word potential and you end up just being a no count. I'm not sure what the time limit is. But at 27 i feel i am getting close to it. So it's do or die time for me right now. My relationship with my parents sucks, i don't really have any close friends, i am in between two halls at the moment, my time sucks, my study habbits are horrible, and i am losing motivation to live life. I have to be close to rock bottom. I don't know how i could get any deeper in this pit than i am now. So it's time to get off of my ass and do something. I feel like this is my last chance. If i can't rebound from this, my life is over, spiritually and maybe physically as well. So tomorrow is the first day of my new life. A life that is not full of excuses, a life that is motivated by positive actions, a life of meaning. I have to be real to myself. I have to realize that i am not nice all the time. there is nothing wrong with that. I have to be myself. I have to live my life to the fullest of my ability. I have to surround myself with people going in a positive direction, not drama kings and queens, and not worldly witnesses, but responsible spiritual people. It's past due. Way past due.